This journal has been Friends Only for a while but I'm opening it back up. A lot of stuff will still be f-locked though, so feel free to add me if you want to read the more personal stuff, and comment here to let me know.
I like knitting, and muddling through life with the assistance of a sense of humour and a tendency to be a Big Damn Geek, which saves my sanity most of the time.Creative stuff (mostly icons) has a public home at my creative journal: climb_helicon.
OMG best video of the week! It's an animated Star Trek music vid (Kirk/Spock, obvo, although not heavily so) set to Shatner's version of Common People. Brilliant!
I feel like this year is going to be a crucial time for me. 2008 opened with me desperate to leave St Albans, where I no longer feel at home, depressed and confused. Despite some major money issues this year, I've spent most of it in London, living with Bethan and no matter how unhappy my work situation (or lack thereof) has made me, I love living here. I don't want to leave. Now my mother has started to guilt trip me about my apparent failure to find gainful employment, and is suggesting heavily that she expects me to move back home, broke and unemployable, at the beginning of this year.
For a while I thought she might be right. Sometimes I still do.
This year I can clearly see the two paths I can take. I can fail to find work, to scrape together my rent, and I can go back to my parents and be sad, and broken, and fail. Or, I can not. I can find work. I can do something, anything to avoid that fate. I drunkenly told a friend that I would rather, if it came to it, if I'd exhausted every possible option, throw myself off Tower Bridge rather than admit defeat. Too much pride, you see? And this is very melodramatic, I know, but I need to remind myself to be determined. To try other options. Hell, if I have to, I'll start over somewhere completely new. I'll run away to sea. Or something.
Perhaps my mum is being really clever here, actually, because nothing has ever motivated me more than her casual assumption that I will fail.
So that's resolution number one for 2009. Keep living my life. No one elses. Everything else is just a bonus.
But because "earn enough to pay the rent" is a little bit dull as resolutions go, I have at least one more so far:
I think I'm going to actually start running this year. I need to exercise, and it's cheaper than gym membership. I'll get some cheap running shoes to start with, and a sports bra, and I'll give it a go. It would be nice to be healthier, and my solid little beer belly would worry me less. I'm thin, but I'm not fit. And I think an exercised me might be a happier me, too.
I'm torn between wanting to stay in my nice, toasty flat and wanting to stomp around in the snow!
Sadly, none of my REAL footwear is in the flat- my fake ski boots (oh, how I wish for that fur lining now!) and my walking boots are all still at my parents house because the flat is too small to fit in things that I only use once a year. Which is sad, as it means I will get cold, wet feet. But the park is only twenty minutes away so I'll probably just risk it.
This morning there was a snowball fight of epic proportions in the car park outside my building, as all the hundreds of children who live in these tiny council flats poured outside to pelt each other. Will venture out a bit later on so as not to get caught in the crossfire.
Snow is so great when you actually don't have to leave the house!
I watched the new episode of Being Human
and I still love it! ( Here be spoilersCollapse )
I also watched the last episode of SPN, which I LOVED, far better than last week's. And I watched an episode of Demons
"Smitten", which was okay. Luke is an idiot, Mina is sexy, Galvin is... a bit of a dickhead. I just kept thinking... Mina looks really good for someone who can't see to do their own makeup. Does Galvin do it for her? Because that is some seriously good eyeliner. I suspect this makes me a bad person, but it wasn't like the stellar plot was distracting me
ETA: I just looked out the window and when did the world turn entirely white? OMG SNOW! Snow that settles in the fucking East End, too. Impressive. Tomorrow there may be a trip to the park to marvel at it, I feel.
I am switching computers around lately like more often that I switch pairs of jeans (trufax, kids. The pair I have on now haven't been washed in about three months and I wear them nearly every day. I only wash when there are obvious stains. Is that gross?) so please excuse any type-o's I fail to catch. I'm doing my best but so many unfamiliar keyboards!
Yeah, I gave my laptop (technically my dad's, I've been borrowing it since he physically broke mine by dropping it) back to my dad who needs it because he's going to work in Vietnam for a few months. I've been hankering after a replacement for ages anyway, because it was starting to suck. BUT I am too broke to afford a new one right now, so I borrowed Jim's beautiful, shiny, new Acer until I could get the slightly dodgy one I borrowed from my friend Sara up and running. Which it now is. Hence the switching.
Compared to Jim's machine this is... rubbish. It's narrow, with a tiny keyboard that rattles like the many-bangled-wrists of a hippy drama teacher when I type. And the keyboard is about two inches off the desk which creates a terrible angle for my
wrists. And the cd/dvd drive doesn't work. BUT it is faster, with a far bigger memory than the laptop I gave to my dad. AND I was lent it for FREE for an UNLIMITED period of time. So I'm pretty fucking happy! Sara, I heart you.
Anyway, today I made a guinea pig breakthrough and I'm so excited that I thought I would share! I was putting the piggies into their run (made from my guitar hero box) so I could clean them out and they could have a run about and stuff. Also I worried they were getting bored as I haven't been getting them out more than twice a week because they seem to get so scared of me... But more on that later.
Before I lifted them out, when I had taken out their house and everything, I offered some carrot, which only Merlin would take from me. But I held my hand out still and Arthur sniffed it a bit then ran away. Merlin, on the other hand, had dropped the carrot and come to sniff at my arm. Then he stayed, post sniff-age, so I stroked him a bit and he let me! Then I offered the carrot again and instead of taking it from me, he proceeded to eat it whilst leaving it in my hand!
After I picked up Arthur and moved him to the run (he still hates me, wriggles like a bitch and wont stop), I picked up Merlin, who always struggles with less conviction. I held him close to me until he was quiet, then I was able to hold him on my front and one arm and stroke him with the other hand for a little while. He let me! He didn't try to escape! He just sniffed my arm and eventually went "chirrrrrp" to himself. I offered carrot, but he was not moved. Then I put him down in the run and he had a fun time playing with his toys. AND HE WASN'T SCARED OF ME! He still doesn't like being lifted, which is fair enough, but he was okay with being held for a few minutes! PROGRESS!
Anyway, to battle piggy boredom, I have mostly just been moving their little wooden wall around, and they have in turn been shoving it around themselves, but it's not enough. Today I have reintroduced the haynet that my mum crocheted for them out of string, which they seem to love. I've been using the hay manger that came with their new cage, but it's a bit like "here's your food, eat it" whereas the haynet requires some effort to get the hay out, and they seem to enjoy the challenge. I also stuffed an old pop sock with shredded paper. Really. I read about it online whilst looking for tips on DIY toys, and at first I figured it was a stupid idea, but I tried it in the run and Merlin started dragging it around by the toe and snuggling on it like a little pillow! They've put it inside their cardboard tube so far, which is nice.ETA: I have uploaded reviews of Underworld:Rise of the Lycans, My Bloody Valentine 3D and Role Models to my blog. The rss feed is prettyfacekitty for more like this! [/shameless self-pimpage]
Concentrating is HARD. Despite the poverty and the joblessness, writing out my entire job history endlessly (even though the majority is cut and pasted from other applications I have filled out) is SO BORING I could cry. And then I have to try and explain why I am fantastic which takes quite a long time, and a lot of rewriting.
This is going slowly. Although later on after my cinema trip I intend to stay up ALL NIGHT if need be to finish the next couple of applications. Although experience has taught me to wait until the morning to proofread and send because 3am does terrible things to my typing.
But I'm listening to Led Zep, which was always what I listened to whilst doing my homework as a kid, on my dad's old records or the tapes he made me from those records. I associate it with knuckling down to something and it does sort of help, weirdly enough.
I also have a Cadbury Apricot Crumble Crunch bar to eat in the cinema later. Which is exciting me because I think it is new and I haven't eaten it before and it intrigues me.
Oh, and I'm reading Neverwhere
at the moment, which is actually my first time reading a Neil Gaiman novel. Yep, that's right. I love his short stories, and enjoyed the Sandman comics I managed to get my mitts on, but I have never read his novels (I'm not counting Good Omens
here, which I have read LOTS). So far I'm... not masively impressed. It's all silly names and London Underground gags and whilst that is all pretty good fun, especially seeing as I live in London, it seems to lack... depth? I have received conflicting advice too, with one person saying this is their FAVOURITE Gaiman novel and others pale in comparison, especially American Gods
, which is a bit rubbish towards the end, and another person saying that this is their least favourite and that American Gods
So I thought I'd ask you lot...
Which is your favourite Neil Gaiman novel?
Something else which I will explain in comments
Which Neil Gaiman novel is your least favourite?
Something ELSE, I SAY!
Is Neil Gaiman...
Better as a short story writer
Better as a comic book writer
Very, very pretty.
I'm going to bed in a minute because I have stuff to do before work tomorrow (the penultimate day before the full horror of unemployment hits me on Wednesday)... I'm not convinced I have done the right thing by quitting my job as it turns out I am much more overdrawn than I was expecting to be, thanks to Christmas, rent timings, and recently switching from weekly to monthly pay. Hopefully I will be able to get a new job pretty soon though, and thus not struggle too much to find February's rent...
Anyway, enough of that. There's no point stressing out about that right now. Instead I want to talk about TV...( Supernatural: spoilers for 'Family Remains'Collapse )