Kitty | The Painter of Modern Life (scoobygang63) wrote,
Kitty | The Painter of Modern Life
scoobygang63

Dude, Twilight? Really?

Just went to see Twilight with Bethan. It was unbelievably shit. Pretty much Titanic but with vampires instead of icebergs. Or The Notebook with vampires instead of, uh, chemistry. Somehow they managed to make vampires about as sexy or as scary or as interesting as a fucking golden onion. And Bella is such a Mary Sue... A new girl in town who literally ALL the boys we see become instantly infatuated with? Seriously? Also, the vampires in this closely resemble My Little Ponys. They glitter in the sunlight? All the stuff that I found interesting, like the back stories to the other vampires (especially Rosalie and Carlisle) and Bella's relationship with her dad, is completely ignored in favour of scenes of the two protagonists staring at each other in a way that strongly suggested they needed a big shit, whilst they rambled on about never leaving each other, ever, despite having been together for all of five minutes.

Bollocks. I suspect the books are better but after that monstrosity I really don't want to try them.

Anyway, I may review this properly at some point. Or I may not.

I also saw Inkheart recently, and that too was utter bollocks (although better than Twishit). It was saved for me, however, by Paul Bettany's incredible hotness, and the fact that he was in it LOADS and sometimes with his SHIRT OFF JUGGLING FIRE. That man is extremely sexy. And he had a ferret. Considering I've watched Wimbledon hundreds of times for Mr Bettany and endured Kirsten Dunst, I could easily sit through some terrible plotting and Brendan Fraser on autopilot for the sake of some shirtlessness. Thoroughly recommended to all fellow Bettanyphiles. Everyone else? Maybe Changeling is good. I hear it's good.
Tags: film geek
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